Bridesmaids. To have them, or not? How many of them? Why have them at all? Will they have you? Who do you pick, and who don’t you? In this episode we open up the subject and take a look inside the box that is bakapi.
It is interesting to talk to bridesmaids and to brides and hear how different their experience of the wedding process is. But, regardless of how the stories begin, they always end in a common place - love, joy, friendship and lasting memories.
This is Rice and Roses, hosted by me, Lungiswa Mosoeu, written by Reatile Mosoeu, an original podcast series produced and brought to you by PieSlovakiaDance.
Episode #7: Bakhapi
{Introduction}
*Audio clip: Winnie on Need vs Want
Bridesmaids. To have them, or not to? How many of them? Why have them at all? Will they have you? Who do you pick, and who don’t you pick? In this episode we open up the subject and take a look inside the box that is bakhapi.
*Music - theme
My name is Lungiswa Ngwaziyamiyaya Mosoeu. And, throughout the season I met with and spoke to everyday women, like me, to find out the story of how they got their dress, and how the traditions they grew up in informed their wedding day decisions. This is Rice & Roses.
{Narration: opening}
As I spoke with our season’s guests, Wandi, Masego, Nyaki and Phindi, one area in the conversations became more and more obvious, bridesmaids. Every bride has their own experiences, but I wanted to speak with former bridal party members and get their thoughts on their bridal adventures.
We speak to three beautiful women. Winnie, Nunu and my older sister, Gwen. I ask Gwen what her best memory was during the process of being a bridesmaid.
*Audio clip: Gwen on her best memory
Ahh, that sounds amazing. I think we would all love to be bridesmaids under those circumstances. Next, I ask Nunu the same question: what her most memorable time being a bridesmaid was.
*Audio clip: Nunu on her most memorable time
{Narration: Step}
Nunu’s joy at performing the wedding step, aka dance routine, reminded me of a similar conversation I had with last week’s guest, Phindi. She shared a funny story with me about the overconfidence of her bridesmaids before the big day.
*Audio clip: Phindi on wedding step
Her girls may not have done the things that needed to be done, but, gratefully, Phindi laughs about it now.
{Narration: Bridal party finances}
Before the dance moves, the pictures and memorised looks from all the guests at the wedding, a bridal party is expected to fulfill a few requirements, depending on the bride, of course. One of these expectations often includes tshankura, zaka, s’tengo...money. Bridesmaids can be asked to assist by paying for their own hair, makeup, shoes, dress, transportation, accommodation or accessories.
I asked Winnie and Gwen what their thoughts about this are.
* Audio clip: Winnie and Gwen on finances
There is some downside for a bride who asks her bridesmaids to pay for important elements of her desired bridal party look. Listen to Phindi’s experience of this.
* Audio clip: Phindi on bridesmaids dress struggle
{Narration: Rewearing the dress}
Buy items of clothing and accessories only to never wear them again is a luxury few young women have. I asked Nunu and Winnie about their bridal dresses and if they had worn them again since.
* Voice clip: Nunu and Winnie or their bridal party dresses
{Narration: Why Bridesmaids?}
And, finally, I asked my sister, Gwen what her thoughts are on the value of having bridesmaids. I opted not to have bakapi at my wedding, but she was my maid of honour. I tailored what her role as my maid of honour meant for my wedding and she played it wonderfully. Thanks sister.
* Voice clip: Gwen on role of bridesmaids
{Narration: Culmination of memories}
It is interesting to talk to bridesmaids and to brides and hear how different their experience of the wedding process is. But, regardless of how the stories begin, they always end in a common place - love, joy, friendship and lasting memories.
*Voice clip: Phindi on hairstyle story
{Narrator: Closing}
So, that is this week’s episode. Short and energetic. We wanted to make this one a sprint because next week’s finale is going to be a marathon. I am excited to sit down with five single women who I invited over for pizza, sweets and a long discussion on the season’s themes of love, family, tradition, social norms and the wedding day.
In our Rice & Roses finale, I will also answer listener questions as well as share my thoughts on the season as we recap important moments which stood out to me.
To bring you in on developments, at the close of season one, we are going on production break to plan for our second season. The goal for the show’s return is to meet more women and share their stories which pan and connect our great continent.
But, before we get there, we have one more stop. Next week Monday at 7pm, we’ll meet then. Much love.
{Narrator: Credits}
* Music - theme fade in
This is Rice and Roses, hosted by me, Lungiswa Mosoeu, written by Reatile Mosoeu, an original podcast series produced and brought to you by PieSlovakiaDance.
* Effect - PSD call out